Tuesday, June 24, 2008

One Woman's Opinion: The Midwest Sucks.


I have been living in American Midwest, Michigan specifically, for roughly a month. I must admit that I have never been a big supporter of the Midwest. Why is it so flat? Why is it so conservative? Why do Indiana and Ohio exist? However, since I voluntarily decided to spend 3 months in Michigan, I decided to fly to the fly-over states with a moderately open-mind.

Despite good intentions, I have found that yes, it’s true, the Midwest does really suck. I may not be the most bipartisan opinion considering I am currently bitter and bored: I desperately miss my New England heady hamlet and am currently living the life of a single alcoholic 60 year old (watching 3 hours of Law & Order on basic cable guzzling a big bottle of wine).

My observations of the Midwest are not of an up and coming indie city like Kansas City or Detroit. These observations, in anthropology called “field notes,” are based upon my assessment of the very worst of this, my Midwestern town. I should mention that there is some indie and heady cred in this college town, but I’m in a bad mood, so I won’t be focusing upon that. Note: these assessments are not based upon scientific data and may be exaggerated.

  1. Jesus has risen, apparently in the Midwest. People here love Jesus. A lot. Driving around with my dad, I was blinded by Christ’s light, finding that 1 in every 10 cars had God as their co-pilot. “God Saves” and “God is Love” adorned lots of midsize sedans. A sticker of kids praying at a cross decorated the back of a pickup truck. What happened to Calvin peeing on a ford sign? Driving across the state, I saw a billboard stating “90 percent of women regret their abortions.” I’d pay my last $20 to see where they got their "research," but it was sponsored by a church, so it must be true. I have driven a lot around this country and I have never seen so many Jesus car stickers as I have in the Midwest. Barak Obama said that people in this country cling to guns and religion because they do.
  2. Everyone is overweight and tragically unfashionable. Every time I leave my house, I feel like I am at the mall, which is really nightmarish. Girls love Aeropostale, Pac Sun, and hair-straighteners. Dudes love looking like bros. My father is a known weightist (a made-up word for the dislike of heifers) and while he says, “Jesus! Look at that person! She can barely get out of her car!” I try to defend the 300 lb woman, stating she probably doesn’t have the education of or luxury to good food and exercise. But, I am really smirking and agreeing with my “make sure you get a run in” father.
  3. The Midwest has the reputation for being friendly. I don’t know how that came to be because everyone here is an asshole. I had some tacky girl (see no. 2) at a coffee shop give me major attitude about grinding some whole beans for me. For some reason, the pissed-off, I hate you/me barista attitude is more acceptable if it comes from a good looking, well-dressed, or barista/screen-printer and not from some 17-year-old who loves sparkly shirts and Rhiannon’s new single .
  4. The accent is unbearable; think Eliza Doolittle (thank you, Emily) meets the cartoon matriarch of Bobby’s World. The Midwest accent is thought of as honest and earnest, but I think it makes people sound stupid, country, and uncultured. But maybe you just hate what you are: there is proof (on video!) that at age 5, I had a god-awful Midwestern accent: “Asked” was “aaased.” Luckily I moved to New York shortly after and I lost the Midwest accent without gaining a Long Island accent. However, occasionally, I will still call my father “Ded” not “Daaad.” And to be fair, I hate almost all accents unless they are derived from Europe. Southern? Long Island? Cringe.

What I hate most about the Midwest is what I hate most about the U.S.; Americans are fat, tacky Jesus freaks. My wish for the Midwest is that the whole region would flood. Just kidding! A wise woman once said that the Midwest gets its pokey, uncool reputation because it is pokey and uncool. Any rising scenes from the Midwest should stop lamenting the superiority of the Northeast and Brooklyn and celebrate the fact that they were at all able to become “hip” while being surrounded by fatties and bible-thumpers. It’s quite an accomplishment, Bon Iver!

81 comments:

happycountrygirl said...

Wow. You are really disturbed. I feel sorry for you, as you clearly live in a black expanse devoid of happiness and joy. Good luck to you.

20somethinggirl said...

I agree with all of your statements about the midwest. I have been here for a fewmonths and I DETEST it. There is no culture. It is ugly as sin. It is boring as hell. God I HATE it here. I cannot wait to move back to the East Coast.

Kat Reeder said...

100% true. I've been living in Michigan for a year and I made the same observations. I thought I was just being narrow-minded until I spoke with other non-Michiganders living here.

I have to add to that list the word PURITANICAL. Midwesterners are afraid to live outloud, to be bold, to stir the pot, or to stand-out in any way. There is no definitive culture other than "being nice" or "living to hunt" and no passion for fresh food or good music. The accent just about drives me insane.

Also, young adults don't seem very ambitious and seem to be content with living their whole lives in the same town. There's no curiosity for the world outside.

This place is a cultural blackhole. Can't wait to go back to Florida.

wisconsin sucks said...

Feeling morose here in Madison Wi, I googled "the midwest sucks" and found this refuge of shared opinion. I am from the west coast and moved to this siberian shit hole for professional reasons. What is wrong with these people? Everyone is so intrusive and has absolutely no sense of humor. And the food is horrible, greasy and everything covered in cheese. Has no one heard of fruits and vegetables? This is supposed to be prime farm country what the hell do they grow out here? And the women are so scary with their over processed hair (sorry but over frosted hair went out with spandex) and gobs of eye makeup, and why does anyone need that much fragrance? AHHHHHHH! I hate this place!

Unknown said...

yes! as a jersey girl who's lived in brooklyn for years, but has had to suffer through multiple trips to the midwest thanks to my wonderful boyfriend's family being there (he escaped, he's okay), i completely agree. the midwest is a cultural and culinary wasteland (with the exception of chicago of course). where else can someone live less than a mile from local farms and still buy their groceries at walmart? the food is crap, they put sugar and/or ketchup in everything, and the people are NOT NICE. They're cold, closed-minded and judgemental, and afraid of anything that's different from their bland, boring lives.

Unknown said...

OMG! This is hilarious! I'm a California girl stuck in D.C., and, oddly enough, you've got this crap-hole pegged as well! Well written!

Jaded Focus said...

I also live in the midwest and feel the need to say... YOU ARE OH SO RIGHT! I live near the downtrodden and trailer park ridden St. Louis. I hope to move as soon as circumstances allow. I have seen dirty toilets that were more inviting then the midwest!

Unknown said...

I would agree in part; the midwest largely sucks. I have lived in northern Ohio for most of my life. I lived in Seattle for four years and some nights I awake in a cold sweat wondering why I moved back. I agree everyone is fat and just as fashionably challenged. I could better tolerate the flat land if the housing wasn't ugly as hell. And forget buying a barcelona chair anywhere; there are no good furniture stores outside of Chicago, Cincy and Pittsburgh. And there is a reason so much bible thumping goes on: I believe that a lot of "God's children" pray as a coping mechanism after they realize how culturally and economically shortchanged they are.

Now I say the midwest sucks in part because it does enjoy a few good qualities. The real estate is cheap. A house going for $300,000 right in Seattle would bring about $70,000 in Ohio (and that is on a good day). Bar drinks are also cheap, and I mean cheap. I can get a good Tom Collins AND Long Island ice tea both for about $6. I couldn't get either of those drinks for under $10 anywhere in Manhattan. Of course, all anyone does in the midwest when they are not eating themselves to death is soaking their miserable lives in alcohol. And, aside from the occasional tornado, the midwest does not suffer from earthquakes, hurricanes, mudslides, or raging fires.

Some people may consider the aforementioned a small price to pay in exchange for a better part of the country, but that's what weekend getaways and frequent flyer miles are for.

chris winters said...

Whatever. I left Michigan 11 years ago and lived in LA, San Fran, and Vancouver and guess what, I couldn't wait to get back. All you spout is cliches. After 11 years of experiencing the perpetual self absorbed condescending adolescents of Cali I longed for the "real" people from back home. Cali has got to be one of the worst run states, bad roads, dysfunctional schools and insane taxes, and its filled with the most self centered and superficially ego driven nut cases on the planet. Talk about hubris. I don't know where you are hanging out in Michigan but at least the people are concerned with real life, are humble and nice when you are looking down on them, and can actual talk in depth about a range of topics and not just spout what they heard last night on the daily show. They also have goals beyond driving a BMW 5 series while feeling good about it because they just installed a water saver faucet in their 3rd guest bedroom. And for the record none of my friends and family are Jesus freaks, I dont know where you are seeing that in Michigan, although they do drive more American cars here. And how about actually having quality public schools where the kids learn without paying 15k a year from kindergarten on so the white kids dont have to mingle with the "brown and black" kids while the parents pretend to love diversity, let alone being able to have a nice safe 3000sq foot house with a yard for under 200k. Not to mention the incredible seasons and breathtaking lakes and forests. Sounds to me like you took your preconceived coastal unfounded attitudes and simply are seeing what you choose to see. Its ok, go back and lead your ego driven, superficial life on the coast where you feel you belong. And oh yeah, to the person that ended her post with being proud of living in FLORIDA?? are you kidding?

chatterhead said...

Thanks, Chris. Finally. Talk about closed mindedness--this kook's "revolution" is clearly with herself. Life is what one makes of it. Why doesn't she embrace our lifestyle like she wants us to embrace hers? Such a baby! Grow up, Revo Girl! You are guaranteeing yourself more bad experiences. As long as you sneer and lash out at people, no matter where you go, people are going to sneer and lash out at you. I'll bet the Midwesterners you've encountered had some shocking things to say about the type of people (you) that your area produces, too! While you're out there exercising your vile opinions, try equally exercising genuine kindness and see if your experiences with us change! Good luck.

G Michael Leonard said...

You hit the hammer straight on the nail. I grew up in NW Indiana. Left in the early 80's for a few years, went in the military and saw that the world was not a flat earth. I went back there for a while when I got out and was open minded. However the people that I knew did not become older and wiser- the world of a Midwestern is that of a 25 mile radius of a flat earth that is centered around themselves. They like to proudly proclaim that when they drive out of town that they are "out of town." After spending two years in the artic shithole, I couldn't stand it anymore. Moved south. Never again. These people were born stupid and raised stupid.

Unknown said...
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Unknown said...

I bet you sat and enjoyed the smell your own farts as you wrote this stupid shit.
The west and east coast really need to disappear up their own asses.
Florida too.

Sincerely With Love, Ohio.

Extraño said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I moved up north to New England for a few years and became extremely depressed. People seemed retarded, out of date, had naive 1960s style mentalities. I began to dislike the Democrats, though formerly I had only hated Republicans. Then, amazingly, there are many Obese people in New England, so fat they need electric wheel chairs. Then you have street preachers. They are extremely agressive and insulting. They say things like "your are not a real man" and yell in your face. Meanwhile, the locals claim that they are not very religious and make a thing of it, though I swear the place is crawling with weird cults.

Anonymous said...

What is even weirder about New England, is a feeling like you have come into their secret area and they dont want you to see the real truth that they are not that great!

Lenore said...


I want to first start out by saying I consider myself to be very open-minded and I lived over all over this beautiful country. I am proud to say I have lived in every part of this country except the Northwest. Out of the 5 different states I have lived in I would happily move back to any of them except the 1 Midwestern state. The Missouri chapter was the longest 6 years of my life. Just after 2 weeks I had made a huge mistake. I cannot vouch for any other Midwestern states but was absolutely true for Missouri. I thought I was being mean or narrow minded by thinking the same items that you listed but I’m happy that I am not the only person that thought this.
As I would drive down I-70 to work I would lose count of the amount of Jesus, abortion, firework and adult toy store billboards that were plastered all over the place. But I would think “at least it was something to look at” since my other option was the vast plains of fields, cows, and abandon trailers that lined the highway. I always thought it was odd that the “nice friendly Midwesterner “ would always make it a point to start discussing how it’s so much better to grow up in the Midwest and they don’t know how I was to survive growing up in NYC. Then I would remind them that none of my friends dropped out of high school, did drugs, or got pregnant. That would usually stop the conversation. The biggest mystery
I am still trying ponder. Is why would someone who is “Christian” (and I knew this because they told me all the time) would talk badly about another “Christian” just because they were Baptist and their neighbor was Methodist or so on. It would remind me of rival high schools from some bad after school movie. From my understanding we all believe in the same God and I don’t remember reading in the bible or learning at my evil Catholic school that God thought one church was better than another church

Eric Shelton said...

I have to say I agree wholeheartedly. I found this page after searching for "the midwest sucks", simply because I feel so alone and isolated in the culture and was hoping to find someone to either commiserate with or change my mind.

I grew up in Tucson, and always thought that was kind of a small town! After all, Phoenix was just 90 minutes up the road. But after moving to Fargo, ND in July of 2012 for work (I volunteered to get on my manager's good side, because nobody else in the company wants to go there), I'm finally learning what a real podunk is. And the hilarious part is all the small towns around here fighting with each other, as West Fargo has property and tax battles with Fargo, Dilworth is considered a separate town, etc. They're all so petty, small-minded, and insular.

My high school had a greater population than a lot of these little towns. I lived in England for three years, the Seychelles for a few months, I've spent a few days in Dubai, and moved from Tucson to Las Vegas. I've been to beautiful Washington, D.C. and vacationed in sunny California and any given opportunity. I've hiked the trails of Oregon's Silver Falls State Park and been to Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

Then there's your average Fargoan, "I've lived here all my life and can't ever imagine leaving!" They say it with such joy. Such pride.

How can someone with such an insular and limited view of the world make reasonable statements about anything? What do they really know? What have they really seen or experienced? I enjoy my time in Afghanistan more than I do Fargo. At least there are mountains here, and an interesting culture. And better food.

It's not the fat people that bug me here, though they do make me mindful to watch my own weight. It's the stupidity, ignorance, and shoddy work. They tout themselves proudly as a "college town", despite most of the educational opportunities being limited to trade-schools and agriculture. Look, I appreciate that blue collar workers and farmers support the rest of the nation, I really do. It's the sheer ignorance of the outside world that baffles me.

Poorly planned roads. Shoddily built houses. Houses built "because we've always done it this way", rather than looking for solutions to environmental factors. Blue laws that restrict business on Sunday, while at the same time saying Sharia Law is awful- because religion intruding on the lives of others is okay when it's your religion. The list goes on and on.

It's called flyover country for a reason.

New Yorker said...

Thanks so much for posting this entry... I couldn't agree more.

I'm an educated and progressive mid-20 something from New York City who spent my first year (of four) of medical training in Chicago, IL, before returning to NYC. When I decided to move to Chicago, I thought I needed to 'get away' from the hustle and bustle of the East Coast; I thought Chicago would be "90% NYC at 50% the price." I found Chicago to be one of the most close-minded, conservative, homophobic, crime-ridden, and segregated cities that typified the overwhelming denial and repression that pervades life in the Midwest. Dearth of culture, creativity, excitement.

Even a city like Chicago is filled with tacky, unfashionable, bible-thumping Jesus freaks. I would walk to work and often encounter such freaks preaching on Michigan Avenue. Classless.

My year in Chicago was among the slowest, darkest, dreariest, and coldest of my life (weather-wise and life-wise). I dreamed of the day I would return to New York. When it finally came, and I flew on a one-way from O'Hare to LaGuardia, I vowed never to look back.

REMEMBER - it's called FLYOVER COUNTRY for a reason.

REMEMBER - it's cheap for a reason. I live in a cramped studio paying double the price for an apartment half the size than my palace in Chicago... and I don't mind at all.

I learned my lesson. Never again.

Unknown said...

Fuck the midwest, fuck chatterhead and chris winters, and fuck everyone that likes the midwest.

Leah said...

Even though I've grown up in Michigan, I have been here at my parents to recover from a massive stroke. I had been living in NYC. After that, I can't stand the midwest now. I was much happier among more liberal,educated,healthy(ie thin)and interesting people! It's basically the opposite in the midwest. I feel like my soul will die if I have to stay here,because I hate it. However, my Mother likes to say "bloom where your planted." No thanks,because I already planted myself in a place that is FAR better!

KS said...

I am so glad to see this. I too Googled "the Midwest sucks" to see if anyone else felt the way I did, and it's such a breath of fresh air reading this post and these comments. I'm stuck in Michigan right now wishing every day I could get the fuck out of here. The people go WELL out of their way to be complete assholes to total strangers, the food is god awful bland slop, most people have zero personality or individuality whatsoever, there's scary fundamentalism all over the place, and oh my god the white trash trailer park people!!! What freaks me out the most is the racism around here, holy SHIT they are insane! Now obviously Detroit isn't as bad, but there are vast, vast swaths of Michigan where it's just an endless sea of white people (most of them white trash or hicks) and if you do see one random black guy, he looks downright nervous to even be in public. I've been up here for three months straight and not seen one single minority - and when I saw ONE lonely black guy hanging out, minding his own business for a few minutes (as if waiting for someone to pick him up or something) outside a store? FIVE MINUTES LATER, cops had pulled up and were harassing the fuck out of him. I think he literally got arrested or ticketed for being black and just standing there. This place is INSANE. Oh, by the way, speaking of cops - corruption is rampant here. Ever seen Super Troopers? Yeah, in Michigan, that's NOT FICTION. I was up here in what they call the "off season" (when tourists aren't around, so anytime other than Summer or Spring), sitting by a lake enjoying the view with my boyfriend, and no less than SIX cop cars drove up to harass me because I was from out of town and had Texas plates. The sheriff even pulled up and had his butt-ugly wife sitting in the passenger seat (at least I hope to god that was his wife!) with her freakin' Sunday dress on. I had to leave, basically driven off because I was from out of town! WOW. I have had people actively try to start fights with me over the dumbest stuff up here, including one chick who tried to get me to pull over and get into some kind of road rage fight when /she/ was the one who zoomed around /me/ (flipping me off and screaming the entire way, of course). Someone mentioned that nobody has ambition -- it's absolutely true. It seems like most folks basically just sell drugs or try to cheat someone out of money or something, because nobody has jobs around here. NOBODY. Oh by the way, this was a weird one-- NOBODY OWNS A FUCKING CAR. People are constantly having to bum rides off their friends, walk, or take the bus, and weirdly enough, a lot of them just straight up never bother to learn to drive. But wait, there's more! -- the schools are an absolute joke. I've heard horror stories from friends and my ex about gifted kids being tossed into special ed and ignored, teachers smoking pot every day out back, etc. etc. etc. I could go on and on and on about the awful shit I've had to deal with living up here. I lived in Ohio for a while and traveled through other parts of the Midwest...none of 'em are much better, my god. This whole swath of the US needs to just freakin' rot.

This place is a crusty, shitstained mole on Satan's flaming anus. If you think you might end up here, RUN AWAY. Do NOT come to the Midwest, it's a trap and the economy is so terrible you may end up jobless, just stay away for your own sanity's sake!

Even bumfuck towns in Texas I've been to were better than this backwater Hell!!!!!

Leah said...

As a displaced New Yorker recovering in Michigan, I feel like I've died and gone to some sort of Hell. I actually grew up in Michigan, but after living in NYC this place is truly full of all the unglamorous unfashionable church goers.. There is no culture, and a lot of fat people. Of which lack any knowledge of good food, art, or fashion.

Ohiofornian said...

Out of all parts of this nation I would say bluntly that the Midwest espically Ohio is the biggest bag of s### in this nation ! Most people are fat loves hunting fishing drinking smoking tattooing whoreing boozing ! Ohio is still has the mindset of a 19 th century rural state despite the coming of the 21st century .Most women hate men weigh about 30 pounds overweight smoke drink get pregnant by 22 in or a lot out of wedlock cuss yell pretend to be a lesbian and are very misinformed about whats going on in this nation ! There is a reason this region is losing population fast because of the lack of jobs in the rust belt and the lack of culture everywhere else ! I will say this If you take care of yourself have a good head on your sholders keep a spiritual faith that's not Christian have a job or a good job dress nice stay clean have no criminal record can cook know how to treat a woman have good taste of music entertainment and all come from a good family don't have a tattoo ,Guess what ? You will be single forever because most men and women in the Midwest dress like 20 yrs behind and they belive pajamas camo make good fashion in public ! Women hate men and if you are a non Christian they will tell you you are going to hell and they have no knowledge on current affairs, Heres something else the major city schools in Ohio at least are churning out high school dropouts at an alarming rate Higher than the nation avg The Midwest really has a stupidity problem and if you raise kids in most places here minus Minneapolis St paul it will trickle down to you children . .Ohio has two of the worse cities for interracial couples Cleveland Cincinatti which were also among most segerated Cleveland Cincinatti were 4 and 5 last yr and all of Ohios major cities were on at least once since 07 Mostly because they are old dying factory towns and Clevelands sports team havent won a title of any kind since 64 !Forbes most miserable list .If you are not a Christian you are told youre going to hell ! LA SF kick the midwests a## and owns it ! There in west LA and SF you don't see the disease of cultural inferiority that is all over the Midwest but espically Ohio ! I have been to 25 of 50 states and I would say by far Ohio and Nebraska are the biggest bags of s### in the nation ! Chris Winters im telling your precious Midwest to Take That !If anybody want to chat e mail me at john_dooley1719@yahoo.com and title the e mail Midwest Sucks !

Ohiofornian said...

And last the reason this part of the nation is cheap because you get everything I mentioned in my first post and its a punishment to live there its winter like 7 of 12 months of the year spring is cold and cloudy and summer is short and hot and by September its 30s and chilly !

Ohiofornian said...

Chris Winters Most Midwesterners aren't fake ,What you see is what you get ! And I described it to perfection ,I didn't miss a thing !

Unknown said...

Every bit true...period. The barista thing...dead on. No customer service of any kind. In Northern Ohio, most miserable hateful people I have ever encountered. Most bored too. Eating is their life...and guzzling booze all night which most are very unable to handle. The Bible thumpers are here too but not as prevalent as in the south. Most boring, flat, place. Scenery is awful. Saving my money to go back home any day.

FirebirdCamaro1220 said...

My fiance wanted us to move from Phoenix to St Louis or Dallas, while I want to move to LA or the Bay Area. I don't see any appeal to the midwest or the south at all. But then again, she grew up in St Louis, whereas I grew up on the east coast, but I hate cold and snow.

Unknown said...

Wow... I get it, you're all blowing off steam. You need to as you feel that the location you have come to live in doesn't meet your expectations. I'm sad that you were not able to enjoy any aspect of the Midwest and that you feel that you live in a nightmare. It's important to note that you get out what you put in... If you want to discuss art and be surrounded by culture, you need to discuss art with people and surround yourself in culture. I currently live in Kansas City after moving from St. Louis, and I've learned a few things about cities that clearly people on this blogpost seem to misunderstand. Just because there are fat, "unfashionable" (whatever the fuck that means. Anyone heard of subjectivity?) and bible thumpers in the community you live does not necessarily mean that everyone in that community is a fat unfashionable bible thumper. If you value art, find the art. I've had people tell me that St. Louis doesn't have an art scene... Then you haven't been paying attention cause it's there... Between nationally recognized institutions like the Contemporary Art Museum, the Pulitzer foundation of the arts, and the St. Louis art museum, there are many other gallery spaces that show great internationally recognized artists like the White flag project and Bruno David galleries plus a ton of local galleries that show local and nationally recognized artists. It's also ignorant to claim that all food in the Midwest is bland, fatty and cheese covered. You can not convince me that there isn't fatty food on the east or west coast (in and out anyone?) there is good food here in the Midwest but be prepared to look for it... No we are not New York and don't have 50 restaurants in a one block radius so picking a good restaurant is maybe a bit more specific, but that doesn't mean there aren't farm to table places that boast incredibly fresh and tastey food that doesn't rely on cheese or grease. The Midwest is different, for sure, but claiming it's worse is an oversimplification and doesn't allow you to really get to know a place. I can't speak to the small towns but the cities aren't all backwater shitholes. Stop acting like yo shit don't stank. try to enjoy life whether you live in beautiful Maine or serene Missouri (beauty and serenity not included, you are responsible for bringing that yourself)

Unknown said...

Coming from someone from the South-

The Midwest: It's like the South, with just as much racism but with ruder people.

I came from Tallahassee, FL to visit my gf's family in Southeastern Michigan with an open mind, having heard the Midwest gets a bad rap from the coastal elite, but that the people are some of the friendliest you'll ever meet. Bullshit!



Fuck this place! The "midwestern friendliness" lie, actually thinking oversized portions of American food you could get anywhere else in the country counts as culinary excellence, the ignorance of the outside world the average person here has... fuck it all!

I feel sorry that all the industrial jobs left, but I'm sorry, the result is disasterous! People still think you can get a good job out of high school at the local steel mill or auto plant and be set for life. Nobody knows anyone that went to college and it's not on the minds of anyone. The sole goal in life of most 16+ girls here is to get knocked up and then married to the first guy that looks at them.

I applaud the decision to join the military that the young men with any sense make, since their parents probably didn't tell them about college. Better to go off and see the rest of the country and world than sirens the rest of your life working at walmart.

The midwest either needs to depopulate or somehow get back the millions of low skilled labor jobs they lost.

Unknown said...

Coming from someone from the South-

The Midwest: It's like the South, with just as much racism but with ruder people.

I came from Tallahassee, FL to visit my gf's family in Southeastern Michigan with an open mind, having heard the Midwest gets a bad rap from the coastal elite, but that the people are some of the friendliest you'll ever meet. Bullshit!



Fuck this place! The "midwestern friendliness" lie, actually thinking oversized portions of American food you could get anywhere else in the country counts as culinary excellence, the ignorance of the outside world the average person here has... fuck it all!

I feel sorry that all the industrial jobs left, but I'm sorry, the result is disasterous! People still think you can get a good job out of high school at the local steel mill or auto plant and be set for life. Nobody knows anyone that went to college and it's not on the minds of anyone. The sole goal in life of most 16+ girls here is to get knocked up and then married to the first guy that looks at them.

I applaud the decision to join the military that the young men with any sense make, since their parents probably didn't tell them about college. Better to go off and see the rest of the country and world than sirens the rest of your life working at walmart.

The midwest either needs to depopulate or somehow get back the millions of low skilled labor jobs they lost.

Unknown said...

Chris Winters We all do respect but people in the Midwest don't have to pay 15 k to keep their kids away from black and browns they just move to places like Wadsworth Ohio Grove City Ohio or the Milwaukee suburbs .There is a list of most segerated cities in America and most of them are Midwestern Rust Belt cities . There is a list of worse cities for interracial couples and it is a cut copy and paste of Midwestern Rust Belt cities and a few southern metros .Maybe people in Cali want to get farther than those flag waving Trump loving fast food munching gun shooting camo wearing marriage by 20 6th grade education dead end job working coast hating pjs in public 80s clothes wearing scooter riding philocentric right wing religious nuts that are 60 to 70 pct of the population of the Rust Belt. Ive been to much of the nation and the only cities in the Midwest I would even consider cool are Minneapolis and Chicago .The rest of the Midwest is boring dull and plain but what stands out is that Ohio and Nebraska are the two biggest bags of shit out of all the Midwestern states ! People aren't fake in the Midwest they are what I said they are ! I agree with the earlier post ,Race Relations in the Rust belt for the most part are not much different than the south and in some cases worse . There are more races mixing in the South than in the Rust belt .

kellyk said...
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kellyk said...

Thank you thank you thank you, Author, for the affirmations this evening. I also Googled "Midwest sucks" out of sheer desperation & loneliness here in KCMO and am grateful that like-minded people exist! There are some wonderful aspects to the Midwest... open prairie, sooooo much potential, elbow-room, varied topography, beautiful architecture and housing affordability.. But in all honesty, those positives come at too Huge a price for me to pay :( I've been in KCMO for 2 years and am leaving this Friday...after feeling like I'm literally going insane. I am a lesser, more depressed angry horrible insensitive person for being here in Kansas City these past two years- it's not 'indie progressive'; KC culture is everything you mentioned about the Midwest in general: destitute, sad, angry, broken, narcissistic. A car culture with taste-driven cuisine versus anything healthy (it's the Portland food scene 20 years ago...all fat and flavor. There's some amazing cuisine here but with rampant obesity as a result.) It's a very unfriendly culture. KCMOers defend the Midwest because they've never been anywhere else. They're too busy pumping out babies and following a prescribed blueprint. This is the saddest place I've ever experienced (after living all over the country and abroad in several countries.) I didn't know that places like this could still exist in the US in 2016. Like Hemingway said about this KC area- "It's shaped who I am but in no way inspired me." I am grateful for my time here and have no regrets, but will never return. It's too sad a place. Thank you for sharing!

Trapped said...

I moved from Buffalo, NY to Nebraska 17 years ago, and I was prompty kind if stuck here and it's been mostly hellish. I love the peacefulness of the wide open spaces, and the singular sort of utterly uncluttered focus which that allows. That's what I've really come to appreciate here, but what I find socially is a cohesion that people relish, and which they achieve by only ever doing what is prescribed. There is a premium on "appropriatenes" at the expense if life force, spirit, expression, growth, experimentation and innovation, and people here are incredulous that anything about the way they choose of live is anything less than superior. It's all about the group, which has a certain beauty to it in a way, but the way it's done puts a choke hold on any kind if social or individual clarity. It's just a big fantastical bubble. Of course, Buffalo has very Midwestern sensibilities, but I actually think it's more a hybrid of east and Midwest that people realize. When Buffalo is cool, it's very cool, in a very non-Midwestern way. Believe. So, I try to appreciate what people have out here, but mostly I think they are unoriginal closed minded idiots and they keep our country behind in terms of dealing with any of our problems effectively, read scientifically. I love this notion that The 98% of scientists who assure us that global warming is accelerating today in real time are just flakey tree-huggers, but the scientists who cure our (lifestyle inflicted) cancers and provide the technologies we can't live without are OK. The ignorance here is criminal. I suspect that my coming to appreciate aspects of life here is possibly some form of Munchausen Syndrome.

Unknown said...

Have to admit, the Midwest is great for space and outdoor activities, but people are backwards and fat. The middle age women are 90% overweight and ugly

Unknown said...
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Unknown said...

So glad to see this! I've been in Kansas City for a year now and hate it just a little less than I did at first. I can't believe you described it as "indie". Austin is Indie. Kansas City is just as ugly, devoid of culture, and immensely boring as the rest of the Midwest. All people talk about here is BBQ, beer, and the Royals. Funny enough, I grew up in the South so I'm used to holy rollers. Just smile and nod. People here have the worst attitudes and the nerve to have chips on their shoulders. It's so odd to me. But there's NOTHING interesting happening here. Down South you can hike the Appalaichains, drive to the beach, chefs from all over the world have chosen to build restaurants in big cities like Atlanta, Nashville, and Charlotte. West Texas has an AMAZING natural landscape and a really funky art scene that has captured international appeal. New Orleans, Charleston, and Savannah are always fun romantic getaway options and the people in the South are genuinely nice. I thought it would be fun to experience life somewhere else, but lesson learned. I love my job, but I in my 30s I'm truly realizing what's important to me and only loving my job isn't cutting it in this terrible city.

seekyou said...
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seekyou said...
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seekyou said...

The worst part about the Midwest is the corruption that exists. It is seen at every level. Laws? The "justice" system is designed to keep the poor in their place. This is how the judges, lawyers, probation officers, drug courts, rehab centers etc keep themselves employed-- by discouraging job growth and decent wages. While I was in college the professors and administrators all felt it was okay to hack into my personal computer because they didn't like my liberal views. Against the law? Not here!

seekyou said...

Try getting a lawyer in South Dakota when your rights are violated! Everyone knows everyone. Unless you don't have big money or own a business, they will simply charge you a ridiculously inflated fee to make you go away. Good ol boy system does not recognize the law. By the way, South Dakota has the lowest wages in the nation, but want to lower--- yes lower the minimum wage here. The reason? Corporations will lose money.

seekyou said...

Haha!! How right how are! You forgot to include how ignorant they are! They think all people in the military are republicans

seekyou said...
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Sm938 said...

I agree with this so much. I moved from the Northeast, having spent time living in the smallest towns and mid sized cities my entire life. I moved to Indiana 2 years ago genuinely looking forward to and optimistic about the experience. I came completely open-minded and wanting to understand and appreciate the general Midwest culture and mindset and forge some relationships out here with my family. I found that desire to understand different people is in NO WAY reciprocal, from the people here. Anything different scares the hell out of them and they make no attempt to break out of a state of ignorance they seem to be content with.

I would hire people in the Northeast from outside and do my best to help them get acclimated and adjusted to the area. I've been here for 2 years, from outside, a 30-something with a family and work with a bunch of others in my new company from this area with families as well. On paper, it looks promising. Have I been invited to ONE thing yet? No. Grab a beer after work? No. Invite kids over for play dates with my daughter. Reciprocated? No. Holy shit.

Forget about the food and culture - we can cook pretty well at home...the people are blissfully ignorant and in general, will make zero attempts to connect with outsiders. Shit, I can't pass by a neighbor without waving but no one is interested in being real friends and are generally skeptical. I will not miss it out here when I leave and nEither will the family. It has not been the good experience we all wanted it to be

kellyk said...

Amen!! I agree with everything you've said. There is so much potential for cool growth & urban revitalization here..cheap real estate, etc...but literally no creativity or curiosity within the people to cultivate it. Even doing road trips and exploring the area.....hoping to find a dynamic small town or hidden gem: Nothing. It's the most lonely, sad, emotionally stunted, unprofessional, impolite and unfriendly place I've ever lived. Last week a cashier at the grocery tried to shame me for starting to bag my own groceries when the one bagger left to carry groceries to a man's car. Huh?!? Putting my own groceries in a bag freaked her out and she was hostile and reprimanding toward me. The simplest day-to-day tasks become exhausting in the face of the ignorance here. It probably comes down to Midwesterners being terrified of anything "out of the ordinary" or new to them, which then points back to their fundamental inability to grow or evolve. We have one year left in a contract before we can leave and I'm counting the days. I hope you can migrate away from KCMO, too, and get away from this negativity. No one should have to live like this.

Unknown said...

Thank you!!!

TheDailySkirmish said...

Amen sister. It's nice to have my opinion corroborated. I feel so much less alone. I have lived all over the United States--from NYC to Los Angeles, Chicago to Michigan to Ohio. Yes. The Midwest sucks so bad. So bad it physically and psychologically hurts. And, I really thought that I couldn't hate a place more than LA. It's paradise compared to Columbus OH.

The Midwest is truly a wasteland. The obesity is repellant. The camo's getting old folks--I once drove by a "furniture" store selling camo recliners. That about sums up the Midwest in one object. WTF. Stop eating and breeding. Many of these people's dreams have died, (whatever ones they may have had) and now they have resorted to a default life setting--squirting out as many useless people as fast as possible, working at McDonald's or Wal Mart, hunting, drinking beer, of for fuck's sake watching Ohio State football. Yes. It goes without saying that it's a style vacuum. OK folks--that's your cue to stop wearing your dirty PJs to the store.

And, for some reason that continues to escape me, they seem to be Republicans. Well actually it doesn't escape me: they hate Liberals and anyone who isn't white, straight and Christian. Yawn. I think someone earlier wrote that it's not two or so hours from the coasts---it's "30 years." Brilliant. The Midwest got into a time machine, went back in time then buried the keys.

And what's with the Ohio State cult? Jesus...and I'll get to Jesus later...nah..it's boring. It's a goddamned football team. Who (but you guys) gives a shit? The logo is f***king everywhere. Everywhere from tattoos (incredibly bad idea) to flags to bumper stickers. Give it a rest. Of course when they're not much to do besides drink, I think I get it. It's bars and churches and gun stores.

And what's with OHIO obsession? The bumper sticker comprised of a family of stick figures spelling out OHIO with their arms? Please kill me. It's OHIO OHIO OHIO. This is what Freud labelled a "reaction formation." That is, when you hate something, you act as though you love it. Yup. He nailed it. The Midwest is a flat, boring, freezing or boiling (respectively), uninspired wasteland of the de-flavorized life. I met people in Holland MI who'd never visited Chicago--it's a two-hour drive folks. Check it out--you won't get shot. But if you did, you'd deserve it. In the words of Marilynn Manson, "you may as well kill yourself, you're already dead." Yup. Nailed it.

I will say that if you have to live in the wasteland that is the Midwest, you could do significantly worse than Columbus. But, alas, that ain't saying much.

It's always a bad sign when you have to take three connecting flights to get to someplace civilized. Yeah. I guess the people are somewhat friendly. Misery loves company. Even my so-called smart people can't seem to breed fast enough and then complain about their stupid kids--hey man, nobody forced you at gunpoint to have these monsters. Yeah. If it makes you feel any better, I hate your kids too.

My alcoholism is in full-tilt bloom here. The soil is great--Columbus is one giant bar replete with backwards hat wearing frat boys. Even the gay men here don't know how to dress. But then again, that's a stereotype.

My wife has lived here her entire life. This, I will never understand. I don't need to make the effort anymore. She won't leave but I will.

Arizona here I come. I'll take my chances with the cowboys. If you have to move to the Midwest, may I suggest instead throwing yourself from a very tall building. If that fails, you can get a gun as easily as a donut here.

Cheers...

APayne said...

I'm from the Midwest too, and I have to agree with everything you said. Except in KC, the Midwest is a swath of redneck, ignorant, small-minded people who are afraid of anything different. They actually treat a college education like it's a bad thing, "What? Did your college degree tell you that?" I hate this area with a passion. The vast majority of people are so ignorant of everything...unless it's corn and wheat. They seem to know a lot about corn and wheat. The people getting pissed are obviously the ones the post is commenting about. They wouldn't be offended if it didn't ring somewhat true for them.

Gaz Murphin said...
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Gaz Murphin said...

Missouri was the first state i laned in, and i really had bad experiance thats actually before i make the next wrong step to minnesota which made me go INSANE well ALMOST, i never thought as of Americans are very reserved and insular and introverted like that before stepping my foot in the country, god dammit i was cursing on every single damn moment i spent it in the Midwest that is before i regret my decsion and was thinking why THE FUCK I EVEN NOT CONSIDERED OTHER STATES BUT those horrible two of them i mean there is A fucking 50 states why is my luck is messed up like this, i really felt so desperate the people are cold and not even willing to make any contact with out of staters let alone to even think to be contacted with international student like me, that is before i realise i was not the only one whos suffering and struggling from the kind of stereotype lifestyle in the so called Midwest 
My conclusion is i REALLY ADVICE everybody not to even consider Midwest even if i were to be offered CEO position STILL FUCK U MIDWEST
Plus other factors
NO GOD DAMM ASS CULTURE AND FOOD ohhhhh for food i bet my shit smell even better.. ur ranch and ketchup is every wheere in the table and still i think you dressing your stool too with Ranch... what a fuking piece of shit addictors
Get a fucking Grip u ignorents piece of m**** fu** hicks

Jane said...

Oh. I think she is RIGHT ON TARGET.

Jane said...

I just moved to Chicago from Boston, and while I love Chicago’s cleanliness and efficiency, I really want to vaporize the Midwest-types and replace them with anything—POD PEOPLE—oh, wait! They ARE POD PEOPLE!!! I sold my place in Boston (I miss Bostonians) and bought my place here for cash with the proceeds. I had hoped the people would be less passive-aggressive and joyless than Minnesotans. But, no. No. My neighbors are complete a-holes. They are so afraid of being direct and communicating like grown-ups that they opt instead for doing a-holish vindictive acts BEHIND YOUR BACK. And, yes, I would rather have my eyes gouged out to the sound of fingernails scraping a chalkboard than to listen to that miserable, ugly accent, and I love accents! I am a linguist, and I adore every other accent there is, but this one. I hope their hell’s fire and brimstone mythos is true, just so they can all burn in that hell they are so sure exists, because Jesus, who probably would’ve been a Buddhist had he known better, because he seems like a really cool guy, would not have liked passive aggressive a-holes with ugly accents cluttering up his heaven. At least not without lots of alcohol.

Jane said...

So, rage on, Sister. I feel you.

Amazon Banshee said...

2021 represent.
What a piece of shit.
I've lived in Chicago, Milwaukee, Madison, the Twin Cities, and a couple of smaller cities in the vicinity. I've been on a tour of the Midwest for my career.
NPR did a segment on your precious, beloved Twin Cities.
Midwest Nice. People will give you directions to anywhere but their home. Highly xenophobic. Highly against newcomers. Racist. Highly disgusting. Flakey.
Here's a great example of just how much the entire Midwest represents one large genetic dead end:
If you go on the disgusting phantasmagoria that is Craigslist, and you look at the missed connections, you'll see a massive difference, right now, between what's posted in twin cities, Milwaukee, cincinnati, Chicago, detroit, and Madison, versus going right now to missed connections in Portland Oregon.

Ohio is the third worst in the nation for murder. Third worst for unemployment. It's the third worst for everything. Wisconsin government has destabilized. Congratulations, to you. Minneapolis. George floyd situation, how's that going for you? Milwaukee and minneapolis are two of the most segregated cities in the nation. Detroit: murder capitol.

I've been to all of the supposer five star restaurants, and your hidden dives. Nothing special. Your people are rude as feck.
And I volunteer. I help children and animals. The frozen tundra is a double entendre!

Louis black does two KNOWN comedy skits.

Your queer communities are full of assholes.

Your academic communities are pretentious dicks with true dsmv narcissistic personality disorders.
you hide your crime like it's no big deal saying that everywhere has crime but oh no your crime is out of hand.



I think Illinois is one of the number one states right now to leave.

Your people are a nightmare.

You are terrible to newcomers.

I don't know one single doctor who is nice as pie who moved to this area who I also spent time with who didn't leave within one to three years. The nicest people you'd ever meet. Several top doctors who are single moved from the East coast and the West coast to one of these areas. And with what I do I've spent time with many who have all left with the same complaints: people are rude and unwilling to let new people into their friends circle and there's no one to date.

At the end of the day, most places have garbage food. If you're not in a big city you can find nature all over the United States.
You can make your own food and you don't have to go out to eat. when it's not a pandemic bands play everywhere.

I have dozens and dozens of friends from back home and it was easy for me to make friends. I never hated on anyone. I was excited and I had hope. I was like a lot of people who had these hopes and dreams. And I've been fighting to leave and now it's a pandemic.

As soon as the pandemic is over I'm headed back west.

every morning I have to reconcile with the fact that I live here with some of the worst people in the world.

You literally are the worst people.

You have internalized misogyny.

You are terrible to newcomers.

drinking is a sport to you and you don't care if you smash your phone in the sidewalk you'll post a photo of it on Facebook celebrating the fact that you broke your ankle while you were drunk and 20 of your friends will like it.

People don't do that in other areas.

People on the East coast don't go out specifically to get drunk. They have lives.


I have tried dating some of you and you were so disgusting and you all chased me on dating apps. Because you know I'm not like you. I have more than one degree and I'm an artist and a musician and I volunteer with children animals in the elderly and all you people know how to do is drink smoke shoot fish punch deer watch football watch baseball and get in car accidents because you got too drunk again before you beat up your wives.

Go f*** yourselves

Amazon Banshee said...

Are you still here? I'm hanging out until the pandemic sees a decline and I'm off to the west. This place is a fucking nightmare.

Amazon Banshee said...

Wow. I have three degrees. They'd murder me.

Ang said...

I was born in the Bronx and lived there till I was 22. I went to college in Queens & worked all over Manhattan. When I hit my 20's I had given up on there being any decent men out there so I started trying out dating websites to see if men were different I other places. I met a few jerks who almost all happened to live in Brooklyn. At the time, I knew very little about Brooklyn. I finally met someone when I was 23 who lived in the very Eastern European part of Brooklyn called Sheepshead Bay. He was a Ukrainian Jew who grew up around many people like him and so we had many cultural differences but I think what peaked our interest in each other was that we both were seeking some change in our lives. Long story short, I moved in & 6 years later we moved to Westchester County bc I missed having more trees & nature around. We'd traveled quite a bit during our time together -- New Orleans, Savannah, Charleston, Charlotte, San Fransisco, all over New Jersey, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Delaware, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania (my favorite place, but I'll get to that later), Italy, The Netherlands and Germany. Even though he treated me well, I never felt the kinda spark I wanted to so I lost interest in the relationship so I ended things and got my own place.

Within less than a year, I met someone who lived in Yonkers but who turned out to be from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. The only thing I knew about Michigan other than the obvious Detroit being there, was about a place called Mackinac Island which an old coworker described as a nice summer spot. As someone who loves learning about other places and what comes with them, I was very curious and immersed myself in his interests. That was my first big mistake. I was so happy to find someone who was handy, had a cowboy thing going on, knew how to hunt, play guitar, was a chef and had the looks to go with it all, I was elated. I thought he could be the one after our 3rd date since he said he was ok with us being bf & gf and even asked me to announce it on Facebook. He was 23 at the time and I was 31. I knew that the age gap could be a bad thing but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. Another red flag was that he had just gotten out, 2 months prior, from a toxic 2 year relationship with a bougie black girl that ended with her fighting him & breaking his nose followed by a police report and a restraining order. He seemed to not care about her at all after that so I kept on with the relationship. He eventually asked me to move in and even after a month or more of me being there, all of her things were still in his room. He kept swearing that it was bc he didn't want to throw it away in case she'd come back for them but it had been months & nothing so I finally told him it bothered me & that I would help him get rid of it all. 50 broken shoe boxes later, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. We, a few times, got very drunk and would sleep together and he, for some very strange reason, seemed ok with not using a condom. I had a strong feeling about him, so even though I was never ready for children, I asked him if he was and he said yes so I was ok with it and of course, I became pregnant. I honestly thought all my dreams were coming true. I was very wrong.

Ang said...
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Ang said...
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Ang said...

When I told him he seemed in shock, but happy, and he told everyone. Shortly after me becoming pregnant, I started seeing A LOT of red flags. He never liked to discuss the future. He would get angry and have fights with me or change the subject if I brought up anything serious like finances, where we would live, getting a babysitter so we could work, etc. He would always shut me down & say "I have it under control." He made no effort to be there for me emotionally, took zero interest in any delivery or baby information I brought up, and the whole time he seemed distant, unloving, and had zero empathy. It was a very strange situation bc that is when the quarantine started. We eventually were both laid off since we were both in the restaurant industry and so it began.... all he did the whole time we were in quarantine was talk to his family and buddies back home, whether it was through text or video chat, and drank A LOT. I saw a few conversations between him and his friends and it was like reading the texts of a dumb high school kid who wanted to be a bachelor forever. He'd sit across from me on the recliner in the living room instead of next to me on the couch while I watched TV & he scrolled though Facebook the whole time, a place where he would sometimes view the posts of ex-girlfriends and old crushes. He would barely touch me and sometimes I'd beg him to come to bed and instead he'd go into the bathroom, even during the middle of the movie, for sometimes 20-30mins, to "poop" and I found out he was just watching porn the whole time. It made me feel very unwanted.

After many explosive fights and me trying to explain what real life was many times, it got closer and closer to the time I would have to give birth. He would roll his eyes if I asked him to watch a Lamaze video on Youtube with me and he started planning our lives out without my consent. Apparently we were now going to move to the UP in Michigan to be closer to his family bc he claimed they would help us and the cost of living would be much lower. Although I couldn't stand the thought of moving so far away from my mother, sister, and friends, I knew we'd be better off not paying NY rent. I wanted to make a compromise and live somewhere btwn the two states, perhaps the suburbs of Pittsburgh, but he wasn't having that. He despised anything resembling a city after his bad experience 4 years being in NY. I had very little say in anything but the part that bothered me the most was that he knew I needed time to recover and I also didn't have a license so I proposed that we move to Marquette, which was more livable, and for us to stay in NY for at least a month after me giving birth so I could recover (I ended up being induced and was in labor for 18hrs and received an episiotomy) and what was that for?? He had serious fomo and bc he wanted to be able to be up there for the 4th of July, he fought me for the longest on me not wanting to travel in that condition. She ended up being born June 5th, over a week longer than he'd expected, so that meant no 4th of July for him. Suddenly he realized that he did have family in Jersey so we went there instead the day before I had my final doctors appointment and started the 20hr or so drive to the UP. He was great during the birth & was good with the baby but still didn't provide much emotional stability.

Ang said...

When we first got to the UP, we went to A LOT of family outtings. I was not so used to seeing family that often. We bounced around between his stepmoms place, his dads camp and his grandparents cabin. My best friend for the first week flew out to help me take care of the baby and keep me sane while he drove all the way back to NY with his dad and best friend (who I despise.... I'll explain later) just to squeeze what they could into a rental truck that was a tad bit too small so they ended up leaving some things behind. During that time she and I had fun taking the baby hiking at Sugarloaf Mountain, getting breakfast at Donkers, and exploring the area and poopoo coffee at the local shops. When he came back, it all went downhill. I was tired of being around his family almost every day and I wanted to feel like a couple again. Instead, he focused on woodwork projects and would leave me to take care of the baby in a place with no wifi. When we finally moved into our townhome the first week of August, it was a lot, but we helped each other to try and organize things and had to buy a bunch of new stuff. Being on unemployment and not having to work turned out to be beneficial in this situation. Unlike my ex, he ended up making us buy a lot of woodsy items for the house and in the end it turned out ok but not very me. After making a table and chairs for his dads camp, he moved on to his next project - refinishing the old coffee table (for a room we later on realized it didn't fit in) - so he turned it into a patio table project which is still incomplete. Then he started having me help him cut a trail through the woods to a new deer camp hunting spot he wanted.... on a marsh.... so he built his deer blind first and he has plans to build a platform for a pop-up blind this year. Mind you, deer camp was 2 months away at this time.

This is where I'd like to start my exploration into "Yooper" culture. Many people up here are blonde. It becomes to become annoying when you start to realize that many of the people up here are isolated, get their information from news about cities they've never been to, and despise large cities while glorifying the UP, which, according to bumper stickers, is superior to coastal places because they're "Salt and Shark Free". They also like to boast that they are very much separate from the lower half of Michigan and refer to its' inhabitants as "trolls". I not only find "906", "Yooper", "Shark and Salt Free" and bumper stickers depicting only the UP portion of Michigan to be alienating to people trying to assimilate, but I find they're "Tourist Trap" to be even more reprehensible. It has a display of many exaggerated & racist masks on mannequin bodies and the sign in the entryway into the parking lot features a sentence encouraging visitors, stating "Welcome to Yooper land. Relax. Enjoy. Spend all your cash. But please don't move up here." I had even spoken with a man who came to live here bc of his wife and he said he hated it up here bc it almost seems like if you're not from here you'll never be treated like a local. They fantasize themselves. They get UP tattoos, they wear UP tourist clothes like it's fashionable, and they ask me every chance they get about how I'm "liking the UP" and when I lie and say it's been "nice" or "interesting" their follow-up response is always "it's a change of pace from the big city - aye?" or "it must be so nice not having to deal with what's going on over there" as if I just moved from a war zone.

Ang said...

Of course bringing this up to my fiance would do me no good. He'd just rebuttal, "well go back to NY then if you hate it here so much." Easy for him to say when I've just left everything behind and our baby is barely 4 months old and I had just gotten all of my belongings and financials settled. Anyway, I cringe when I think about just how in love with themselves Yoopers are for no just reason. They think they're the only ones who have nature and lakes. They think that people from cities live in concrete cells surrounded by nothing but ruffians and chaos. They think people from cities are "bougie" and that we have never seen a forest or a body of water. They think that gun laws from elsewhere are something that can't be lived with. They think that people from suburban areas couldn't possibly have experienced the a small town feel of a lot of people in the same community knowing each other. They think we have no idea what cold feels like or how to deal with it. They think we emulate our lives by being jaded and bleak. They claim they never want to go to NY now that we experienced the same thing during co-vid as many people have across the globe. There are almost no people around the age of 30 from what's I've seen. Everyone either goes to the local high school, university, or is an old conservative.... the types that think that socialism and communism are synonymous.... There's even a Trump store along the highway. The girls in summer wear super short shorts and in colder weather, continue to wear them with a college sweatshirt. There is no culture. There are many people of Finnish decent but the local "Finnish" store is not more than another tourist shop for UP-themed items. It's all just sad. It's like the people up here lie to themselves to cope with a long, hard winter and boredom with lots of drinking and saying that their lakes and nature are better than living in a city, as if that is the only other option. Coming from a more suburban upbringing, I find the suburbs to genuinely be the best middle ground, both when it comes to livability and convenience.

Just to touch on why I love PA so much, there are varying landscapes in terms of entertainment, stores, flat land vs mountainous regions, etc. The school system is above average in the country. There are many health-conscious and educated people there. People mind their business but they're usually friendly. There is plenty of culture and the weather is amazing. In Michigan, there are lots of snowbirds who purchase homes in warmer places so they can run away each winter if they're not busy hunting when in season, that or they travel downstate. They complain about the how harsh the winters are but still seem to want to live here bc it's all they know & they're comfortable. Weed is legal but the older people shame the ones who smoke because they think it's "dope" and affects your mental health in a negative way. The recycling system is a nightmare. As someone who doesn't often drink carbonated beverages, especially coming from NY and having to recycle my whole life, I found the thought of where all of my water and iced tea bottles end up after I toss them in with the rest of the trash perplexing. I do not understand why anyone would want to raise a family in an area that's known for having meth heads, teens constantly drunk driving bc there aren't really cabs, and not being able to utilize certain services bc they don't deliver up here. I'd go on but after a long time of this happening, he is doing it all over again sitting right next to me just because I changed my mind about which room I wanted to clean....

Jane said...

Midwesterners are vile.

Jane said...

You live in a bubble. Really.

Jane said...

What the f*** are you talking about? lol

Jane said...

Name one verifiable thing that the Midwest does better than the Northeast. Education? Infrastructure? Housing? Job growth? Literacy? Government accountability? Environment? Go on. Name one.

Jane said...

❤️

Jane said...

Oh, bullshit. Midwesterners suck. It isn’t the weather or the flatness or the Jesus thing. It’s the people. I really hate you. I have lived in NY, PA, FL, MD, TX, Germany. I have spent 3 monthe or mor in Italy, France, and India. I have travelled to at least 400 towns and cities all over the world. The only place I HATE BECAUSE OF THE PEOPLE is the Midwest.
You are the meanest, stupidest, pettiest, rudest, cheapest, humorless, most dishonest and untrustworthy useless people that ever lived. Don’t blame the weather or Jesus. This is all about you.

Jane said...

I have lived in both Minneapolis and Chicago. They suck too. Just give it time.

Jane said...

Well said. Ehen I talk about the Midwest, my rage gets the better of my eloquence. You nailed it.

Clara said...

The comments are literally a life line rn. I’m 23 and from st louis. I spent the last three years traveling and moving around. I was about to move to austin before covid happened but then of course my plans were dashed and I ended up having to move back home. I’ve only been here for 6 months but its truly hell on earth. I feel like I’m taking fu**ing crazy pills.

I never felt like I fit in here or like people liked me growing up and I thought that being that I went and did all this stuff and grew, I would feel more accepted and happy to be around familiar faces. But jesus christ it’s only gotten worse. Its like all my peers just came out of a cryogenic sleep, they’re all EXACTLY the same and I’m still an alien. Its worse though because I can actually see how hellish it all is. One of my high school classmates recently got arrested for murder. He stalked a woman and killed her boyfriend in broad daylight. And people were just like “oh thats sad, but you know, his family was troubled.” As if the whole city isn’t splattered with blood. Its horrifying. People really do lie to themselves, I mean you have to. The company line is that crime stats are wildly inflated because the city and county are separate but thats patently false and very apparent if you live here. Ive lost count of how many people I know are dead or in jail. They all think it’s like that everywhere and yet, they’ve never been anywhere else. And god forbid you point any of this out, nothing makes you an outcast faster than not conforming. Conforming to ideas, to bad outfits, to shitty baseball games. Everyone here dresses “alternative” and is covered and tattoos. They all buy a cannon and drink pbr and call themselves artists. But all their art and tattoos and indie outfits look pretty uniform and uncreative to me. It’s so incredibly soul sucking here. I’m moving to queens as soon as my lease is up thank god. Otherwise I’d have to start getting stick and pokes and buy a gun pretty soon.

Ken O said...

I was born in ND but grew up in Minnesota. I absolutely hate this place and i hate/despise the ppl here. It’s a miserable depressing hell hole here. I can’t wait to move out. The ppl here are beyond the most rudest, stuck up, super judgmental, ignorant, arrogant and delusional people ever. I can’t tell how many times i have raged at these idiots for being incredibly stupid it’s so despicable. And I can’t tell you how many times i have attempted suicide and tried to cut myself here. This place is a big joke and scam. They got no fucking manners at all, they forget to say “excuse me” while they are almost bumping into while passing by. But no the idiotic response I get is “sorry” when deep down you don’t feel guilty about almost knocking me down. Yeah, manners don’t apply here, the golden rule treat others as you want to be treated, feeling human being treated like you exisit, love & compassion don’t apply here. There mn natives are horrible, they are cunts, they suck, are ocultish and demonic. I swear to god being around them feels like a curse bc they’re basically garbage junk junk type ppl that can go fuck themselves and die.Minnesota or should say shitsota, I think gives the entire midwest a bad reputation/perception. The state and the ppl here got issues. If you want to vent to about how shitty it is up here or just need a shoulder to vent. Add me on snapchat kothrive. Below are truths about shitty Minnesota.

Ken O said...

Minnesota is foreign because living here is like living in a foreign country with different values, different cultural norms and stupid laws. Minnesotans don’t even act like normal Americans. You see, normal Americans have good manners, they are directly honest and not passive aggressive. Look at Georgia or the southern states for example. They admire America and act like true normal Americans at heart, when something is wrong they tell you the real “gospel”truth. Minnesotans, however conceal the truth about everything, especially when it comes to racism. You stupid minnesotans pretend to accept minorities/other ethnicities then once their back is turned, you talk horribly about them and back stab them.

Ken O said...

You Minnesotans also refuse to behave normally around minorities and people of color. When a person of different race walks by you, you pretend you don’t see them bc you suffer with colorblindness and that’s not only it. You Minnesotans purposely perform all these nasty, prejudicial, nonverbal micro-aggressive attacks against minorities and people of color. When you see a minority or person of color you purposely/subtly avoid them in your presence and in any public setting bc deep down you can’t stand being around minorities. Of all Americans, I find minnesotans very bitter with their with their racism. Minnesotans are dishonest about their racism and aren’t upfront about it which is even worse than calling someone the N word performing any bigoted hate crime. In other words, it’s healthy racism when you’re upfront about it and don’t hide it bc you minnesotans are prone at hiding your racism. The bottom line is you pretend not to be racist when in reality you are. Do you all even know how hypocritical you are, you claim you’re better people and have good human qualities when it’s just an absolute lie. You think you’re above the rest of country and the world when deep down you’re lying to yourself. FYI anyone lying about having good qualities is considered a self righteous prick.

Ken O said...

I am sure you feel insecure and hate yourself. Oh boo hoo! You need a tissue, dollar has them for $1.25 go there.

When it comes to new transplants, you treat them very horribly like they are a disease or like the devil that came out of nowhere. Not welcoming transplants is one thing, but do you have to be extremely insolent, bitter, rude and beyond judgmental to transplants, who clearly did nothing to you. You’re xenophobic acts against transplants is making transplants here to hate it here. Deep down you hate people that are different from you, you abhor people that weren’t born in your overrated pretentious shitty state.

The people here are nice? You’re kidding right, that’s absolute bull shit. The people in MN are not nice at all. And why would i or anyone expect them to be nice. These are the most horrible, self centered, narcissistic, pretentious in compassionate, rudest, fake, oppressed people, I have ever met in my life. Anytime minnesotans are nice, it’s just an act, a game to conceal their hatred. Yeah, ironic isn’t it.

Minnesotans, are very delusional, they lack self awareness. Oh my god! God forbid if anyone complains to Minnesotans about anything Minnesotans are the victims and the real victims are losers. You tell me how does that qualifies as nice, or are you one of those people who fails to admit you and the rest of the people in Minnesota got issues by always defending your shitty state (minnesota) and the natives in it. Maybe you’re all too scared to admit, you’re all ignorant cowards that don’t even raise their children right. Instead, you raise them to be horrible human beings and horrible american citizens. Like seriously, how do all of you manage to look at yourselves in the mirror every morning. How do you even sleep at night or should i ask your doctor or therapist.

When it comes to politics, you all are pathetic low lives. You elect a dislikable governor (Waltz) that can’t perform any of his job duties, pretends he cares about the people his state, avoids responsibility, avoids confrontation, always raising taxes, housing prices, store prices, etc. In other words, waltz is tainting the economy here in this state, ironic isn’t it. Name one thing he did after that man slaughter incident back in 2020. I got one word for you, nothing. As far as i am concerned, waltz is the epitome of Joe Biden bc biden is a coward.

Then you have these terrible leftists, democrats running/ruining your shitty urban cities, suburbs and colonizing all the suburbs in the twin cities metro area making it your territory. It’s no wonder all the towns in the twin cities loop is all ghetto trash. Filled with yuppies, citiots, creepy hipsters, gangsters, BLM rejects, Antifa groups, drug cartels and etc.

A beautiful state? I disagree, the wildlife here is ugly, the rivers and ecosystem here is polluted and so is the air. Traffic here sucks the drivers here are abominable If i would give this state a letter grade i’d give it an “F” rating 33%. Sorry :/ - not sorry.

Ken O said...

I do want to mention. I am very impressed with most of these posts. However there's things I mostly agree with and some I disagree with. I agree it's very clannish up here, the people can be very cold and be complete jerks to total strangers. I do believe the midwest and specifically the upper midwest is dominantly white in population but that doesn't mean it's isn't diversity, it's just the "white" race makes up the entire midwest population. Yes, the racism is very bad here/rampant and It took me awhile to realize how bad the racial injustices are up here. Before kept thinking, oh it ain't bad up here besides other parts of the country that has bad racism like the south or west coast. Up here in the Midwest the people are dishonest about their prejudices against minorities. They pretend not to be racist when they are in a covert manner. Then they convince others they accept minorities when deep down they don't. Not only that, they don't behave well around people from other cultures when ever they see them they flee from them. Yeah, midwesterners suffer with xenophobia. The gist of the difference up here is they aren't in your face confrontational about their racism. That's worse than overt racism than a person of color gets called the "N" word or gay person being call the "F" word, or a latino being called a taco. Overt racism, I would consider healthy racism. It doesn't mean it's tolerated or condoned it's just way be grown up about it and it makes a person less racist compared to people deliberately hide their racial truths. I do notice up here people are a lot more rude about their prejudices than anywhere else which is just sadly unbearable. I do hate how ridiculously Cold it gets up here in the winter and how hot/ buggy it gets here in the summer time.

It's also so damn expensive up here which sucks even more. One thing I disagree with is about the christian religion up here. The people up here in the midwest especially the state I grew up in shtty Minnesota, is the opposite of christianity. Oh god forbid you deal with an hostile threatening person there you're fucked. The people here believe in occult and are devil advocates. Oh no, I move away from them as quickly as I can. Jesus Our Lord and Savior doesn't live inside this morons. Guess who lives inside these people umm yeah, satan. They are the epitome of satan. Going to college made realize how bad specifically Minnesotans are and the weird un American behaviors of the midwest are. I in the south it's more christianity / Jesus orientated. Unless you're in a small conservative town in the Midwest.

Ken O said...

It's also so damn expensive up here which sucks even more. One thing I disagree with is about the christian religion up here. The people up here in the midwest especially the state I grew up in shtty Minnesota, is the opposite of christianity. Oh god forbid you deal with an hostile threatening person there you're fucked. The people here believe in occult and are devil advocates. Oh no, I move away from them as quickly as I can. Jesus Our Lord and Savior doesn't live inside this morons. Guess who lives inside these people umm yeah, satan. They are the epitome of satan. Going to college made realize how bad specifically Minnesotans are and the weird un American behaviors of the midwest are. I in the south it's more christianity / Jesus orientated. Unless you're in a small conservative town in the Midwest.

Ken O said...
This comment has been removed by the author.