Women, some Girl Talk

Why do I have to wear short shorts and my bandmates get to wear pants? I'm kinda cold.

Last week I went to see the band Women and was struck by something odd. It wasn’t how good they were—it was my second time seeing them and there was gratuitous guitar wanking, inaudible vocals, and not much else. No, looking up through my PBR colored glasses at the stage I saw Women—but they weren’t women, like the people with boobs, they were Canadian dudes! Not only was there not a single woman on stage, looking around I only saw a handful of us in our best skinny jeans.

I wondered where are the ladies? Furthermore, what’s the deal with all these all- male indie rock bands with female band names?

First, every show I’ve been to lately is a complete dude storm—in both band and crowd. Now, I love a cute bro in glasses just as the next broad, but where are all the women at shows? Perhaps I’m in the wrong city or maybe we just don’t care about music and prefer to at home cooking dinner and making babies.

Maybe I’m being an “uppity bitch” but c’mon: Women, Girls, Girl Talk, Twin Sister, Communist Daughter, etc. A few years back, it was totally trendy to name a band after a woodland creature—Fleet Floxes, Grizzly Bear, Deeranything. But now you cannot get onto Pitchfork unless your band name is the Girly Girls and the lil’ Twin Bitch Sisters.

Is it satirical for a band of bros to call themselves Girls or Women? Like, ha! ha! we’re a bunch of dudes so it would be totally ironic to call ourselves something girly!!

I probably wouldn’t be so annoyed if I thought that popular indie rock was overflowing with female artists and those artists were respected and taken seriously. When female artists are buzzed about, it’s often not about the music. Kyle Forester of Crystal Stilts recently commented on this gender dichotomy on Pitchfork saying, “People love girls in bands, but they want to write lewd shit about them on Brooklyn Vegan. It is weird that the indie rock world is supposed to be politically progressive, but in terms of gender politics, it's sort of like 'Mad Men'.”
(you needn’t look further than Death Cab for Cutie sad sack Ben Gibbard to realize that, in music, the same attractiveness standards DO NOT apply for men and women. His wife's pretty hot though!)

There are a lot of awesome women in indie rock right now, but the bands that are the most blogged about are either a bunch of dudes with a lady name or a bunch of dudes with some sort of hot, maybe gimmicky female lead singer. For example, the New York based band Twin Sister; the band consists of five members- and the one girl is the vocalist. She has a “quirky” voice, conveniently contributing to the band’s sleepy, bedroom “dream pop”. I know little of Twin Sister’s background but the aforementioned uppity bitch in me suspects the lead vocalist was shoved in front of a microphone because she was hot in that indie-bangs-and-arm-tattoo kind of way and could sing. And behold! In an internet minute, Twin Sister’s album Color Your Life was given a 7.5 by Pitchfork.

Twin Sister and their lead lady are blowin’ up on the blogosphere, but they aren’t the only one with a strategically placed female lead singer. I saw the Brooklyn-and-blog based band Cults sometime in the late summer. Listening to Cults before seeing them live, the vocals sounded like they belonged to that of a 6-year old (and I loved it, by the way). I wasn’t far off. The lead singer looked about 19. Her voice is very twee and childlike and for Cults, it works well. But watching her fronting an all bro band, singing and sweetly swaying in front of an almost exclusively all male crowd, I was unsettled. (It should also be mentioned that one of Cults’ band members commented on the lack of women in the audience. sorry you couldn’t see me. I was in the back drinking beer.)

Don’t get it twisted—I love female vocalists. But with a new Brooklyn buzz band cranking out an MP3 a minute, it seems like cute female vocalists are a commodity for success—or at least a blurb on a blog.

There are women in indie rock. A lot of them. But women's music is often gendered- passed off as being sentimental or juvenile. Neil Young was taken more seriously than Joan Baez as an antiwar musician. I know a lot of women who are willing to admit they love Bob Dylan and I can’t say the same for men and Joni Michell. Today, Joanna Newsom, a probable genius, was at first passed off as being nymph-like with a childlike voice. Meanwhile, her 'freak folk' compatriot Devendra Banhart was touted as world-weary and wise. From politics to sports to media to indie rock, women’s accomplishments are often quantified, where man’s are simply accepted verbatim.

When I was doing DJ training for my college radio station a year ago, one of the (female) senior members of the station said to me, “It’s nice to see some ladies here”. Yeah, is refreshing to see actual Women, Girls, Sisters, and Daughters doing the Girl Talk and playing music.

Here are some talented bitches, Mountain Man. Get it? Ha! Ha!

I'm Your Biggest Fan

A couple Sunday nights ago, I watched the Grammys for the first time since I thought the Backstreet Boys was quality music and thought the Grammys meant something. As I watched celebrities faun over themselves and pantless women prance, there was something that really bothered me about the awards. It wasn't the fact that there wasn't actually any good music up for nomination (that's another post entirely). What bothered me is that the Fame Monster, Lady Gaga, was almost entirely shut out of the Grammys while teen ingenue Taylor Swift walked away with America's hearts and the coveted Album of the Year. In what world is a woman who has reinvented pop music defeated by a girl who laments tween heartbreak?

I'll let you read my poker face right off the bat: I am a huge Lady Gaga fan. I think she's a brilliant entertainer whose made made pop music interesting again. She walks the line of being a "Fame Monster", courting the media in her fanciful Haute Couture, all the while not caring what anyone aside from her fans think of her theatrics.

Before the Grammys, I'd never seen Taylor Swift perform and really knew nothing of her, aside from knowing that her personal brand is lapped up by everyone from tween girls and their moms; college dudes; and country music fans alike. Apparently, American is titillated by Taylor.

She certainly fits the "America's Sweetheart" profile: she's young and looks younger. She's thin and blond. She's from America's heartland. She writes harmlessly catchy tunes. And although Ryan Seacrest blew his teen-girl load while introducing her during the Grammys (basically stating she's the Greatest Song Writer of Our Time), her songs such as "Fifteen" aren't exactly the next "Blowing in the Wind".

I don't really give a toss about Ms. Swift. But I do care about the underlying implications of Swift's victory over Lady Gaga at the Grammys.

They do share a few commonalities: they're both thin and blond (though Gaga's hair color is as ever changing as My Little Pony's). They both write their own music and both play an instrument. They're both in constant rotation on Top 40 radio. But the similarities pretty much end there.

Swift, with her twee lyrics and "Who me?" demure, appeals largely to Conservative America. I'm sure she comes from a "Family values" background and is known for dating good Christian boys.

Lady Gaga, grabbing her crotch and singing about sex with men and women, is a pop star for Liberal America. Widely considered a gay icon, Madame Gaga appeals largely to women and gay men. She is on all accounts a strong woman; making no qualms for 'freakish' performances; her fashion choices; and her meticulous attention to detail.

There is nothing wrong with different representations of women in the media. What is disconcerting is the mainstream's fetishization of Swift and the villaininization of Gaga. Swift is idolized by girls and lusted after by men for being the Madonna, the unattainable virgin. Lady Gaga is the villainous whore, courted by ultimately feared. The mainstream is so intimated by Gaga that there was a "legitimate" rumour about Lady Gaga having a penis (Google "Lady Gaga" and the first thing to pop up in the search browser is "Lady Gaga Hermaphrodite). Yes, because she is a strong woman in control of her career and sexuality, Lady Gaga must have a penis. Who else could have such control but a man?

Taylor Swift's popularity largely hinges on her ability to play the sweet, yet sexy, girl next door. It'll be interesting to see if her popularity can sustain as she transcends into womanhood (she is, in fact, already 20-years old).

For now, Swift is America's girl next door. She embodies what we expect women to be: sweet, naive, virginal, and of course, beautiful. She's not like those women who speak their mind; change the way we view gender; and who are free bitch(es), baby.

The Future of Journalism

Birmingham City University is offering a year-long course in "social media": $5,700 for instruction on how to start a blog, record a podcast, and use Facebook, Twitter, and Bebo.

[Gawker]

I Hope They Serve Rat Poison in Tucker Max's Beer

Stripy polos rejoice! Your favorite piece of literature, next to Maxim, is being adapted for the big screen! No need to breathlessly await The Wedding Crashers 2, the fine piece of literature “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” is being turned into a movie. I guess Hollywood ran out of Jane Austen books to remake! Written by self-proclaimed (and actual) asshole Tucker Max, the totally INSANE piece of non-fiction chronicles Max banging a lot of chicks, bro.
Alas, I can’t say that I am surprised. We are the proud land of gender stereotypes. Being a white male is the greatest thing ever and in our fine country and being a frat-boy gives you literal presidential status.
The short of it is Max’s penis and, that he’s had sex with tons fuckin’ hot sluts and got a book deal because he went to a pseudo-Ivy. He probably didn’t get enough attention as a child, feels disenfranchised as a white male, blah, blah, yadda, yadda.
But seriously, who is this dude? I went to boarding school, so Tucker Max is my every-man: well-educated, boringly attractive, far superior to you. In Max’s world, all women are “bitches” and date-rape is sex. Mr. Max will marry at 30, when having sex with prostitutes becomes sad and all the good chicks have married. He’ll become an investment banker and screw some college interns at Goldman Sachs. He’ll have two blond children and see them once a week. And the cycle will continue with Tucker Max II.
Only in America could Tucker Max’s book be published and cherished. We love a “man’s man” (see: George Bush). White men have ruled this country for over two hundred years, Goddamn it! But wait, Barak Obama is the most important person in America right now. And didn’t a chick run for president and do pretty well? And isn’t a black woman the wealthiest and most well-known American? Is the apocalypse upon us? Are white men loosing control?!
No, of course they aren’t. It will take a long time for this country, rooted in racism, sexism, and class-ism (and some other “ism” to be sure) to be truly egalitarian. But in the meantime, minorities (read: not white men!) are making some headway. But instead of cheering this diversity, the media, controlled by who else?—white men! won’t let us forget who’s in charge. Why else would Askmen.com come up with a top-10 “Things Only Men Can Do”? It is almost as desperate as John McCain’s campaign.
But I am just a man-hating feminist, so of course I hate males! Alas, I don’t hate white males; I feel bad for them. In our culture, young men are marginalized just as much as young women. Girls are taught to be skinny and stupid—to attract men—and boys are taught to be uber-masculine—in the most contrived sense—and super-dominant. And while girls can never be pretty enough, boys can never be “manly” enough. In the game of gender-stereotypes, everyone looses!
Tucker Max, I do hate you. Max perpetuates a tired stereotype that no one benefits from. It’s time that we start holding men to higher standards—men aren’t Neanderthals, women aren’t sluts, but Tucker Max is a douche. To end on a positive note, I leave you with some real men.