Baller of the Week

Read: Oh Christ I just wanted you to fuck me and then I became greedy, I wanted you to love me

...Ladies and....er, Ladies, Tracy Emin.

I just found out about this brilliant artist and am wondering where she has been all my life.

pleasures of the past, part one.

It is late summer and the sun is sad. It hangs in the lower in the sky just as my heart hangs lower in my chest. It’s still warm but not humid like it once was. The earth is gently setting us down from the summer high.

I walked down Loomis Street today. I’ve done it a million times before, although I’ve never almost cried like I did today. I headed to my old house to pick up mail but knew I wasn’t heading home.

My boots kicked dirt on the gray gravel driveway. Bikes crowd the wooden porch where mine used to belong there before it was stolen. I knock on the door where I once held a key. I enter a house where I once lived and breathed and loved. But today I am just picking up misdirected mail.

The approaching fall makes me intensely nostalgic. Nostalgia sneaks up on me just as the reds and the oranges sneak up on the green leaves. I have a longing to feel the past although my horoscope told me I ‘cannot fully embrace the exciting and daunting possibilities that loom ahead of you if you also insist on immersing yourself in the pleasures of the past.’

But today all I want are the pleasures of my past. I want to feel a warm hug from my sister. I want to taste the collective dinners and embrace the collective ideas. I want to wonder when I’ll stop giggling. I want to know that we’ll always be this happy; this young; and this close.

Every time has a season but I could live the pleasures of my past and the happiness of the sad fall forever.